Oh, my sweet solitude… I wouldn't change you for any other experience. Why? Because you’re so perfect in all your imperfections and so pure and authentic in your sacred existence. You're my life purpose and my ultimate goal. You’re my hopes, aspirations, inspirations and my beliefs. You are an invisible force that keeps driving me forward straight to my goals. You’re the only one that keeps me sane when I am falling apart. You are the only one that keeps me grounded no matter how far I go with my life. You saved me from bad choices and wrong decisions when I was so close making them. You saved me from myself when no one else could. You listened to my whisper where others couldn’t even hear my scream. And when everyone was disappointing me you were fulfilling my hopes and expectations. You’ve made my life meaningful and worth living. You made me who I am today. And without you, I wouldn’t be here now. Could I be asking for more?

After all I’ve been through you’re still here comforting me without needless chatter, unwanted questions or undesirable intentions. You’re just here, patiently standing next to me. Like nobody else does. And I know that you're the only one I'd be with 'til the end. I know it, without a doubt, after so many years together. You're my past, my presence, and my future. You are everything I was, I am and I will be. I am who I am because of you. You're my every good decision and every big mistake I've ever made. You're my inner voice and my life guidance. You are my mindful experience and spiritual cleansing prayer. You are the peace I crave in this chaotic world. You are my focus in this reality full of distractions.

Now that I know I can absolutely trust you I feel safe and confident with you. You make me feel so good about myself… like no one else can. I feel blessed because you washed my sins. I feel peaceful because you brought meaning to my life. I feel pleased because you left me satisfied and smiling anytime I need it. I feel free because you’ve saved me from my fears. I feel protected because you never let me down.

Because of you, I found my peace after all of these years I kept walking on the road of self-destruction. And we both know how close to the edge I was. I could lose it all in one second. Do you remember that moment in time? Yes, that winter when I completely lost myself because the burdens of my past were hunting me. I was lost and broken trying to protect myself and avoid a major emotional breakdown. And you stood patiently by my side helping me to catch another breath. You kept my head above water even when I really wanted to drown. But you didn’t let me die alone. Do you remember that time in my life? Yes, that was the second time you saved my life.

You’ve saved me from myself when I was on my path to self-destruction. Even then when I was standing on the edge risking to lose it all you were there for me holding my cold hand and gently stroking my head. I was so alone but never lonely. I thought at the time that I couldn't be horrified anymore because I’ve already felt hopeless and incredibly damaged. Now I know that I had to fall apart to put myself back together. And I did. Again, I managed to stay alive because you were there by my side.

Do you remember when I was driving myself insane with these sick thoughts? And you’ve told me that madness is thus the dream of an imagination born of fevered mind. I believed you because I knew by then that you wouldnìt lie to me. And you didn’t. You gave me the strength to dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons. After all, you’re the only one who taught me how to move forward in times of change without being overwhelmed by fear. And even when I was scared to death you didn’t leave me alone with my misfortune. Instead, you accompanied me in my sacred journey to the depths of hell and we both managed to come out the other side better than ever. Now I'm a warrior and I'm stronger than I've ever been because you’ve made me so.

I wouldn’t have changed if it wasn’t for you. You knew me by then. Do you remember how arrogant and pretentious I was when you first approached me? True, I was a bit intrigued but I wasn't really going to give you any chance. Then when you got close to me and I thought: “Gosh, she must be a fool or just incredibly naive and she will certainly regret her move”. It’s funny how calm and unmoved you were. Honestly, that it just threw me off a bit. Even when I gave you this evil look to scare you off you stayed firm and confident as if nothing had happened. “Be humble and kind”, you said. And you laugh straight into my face. That was kinda rude but also necessary because it opened my eyes and helped me understand how arrogant and pretentious I really was by then.

When I heard your voice for the first time I thought that my life was testing me to see if I learned something forms my past and I got scared. But you gave me the strength to dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons. After all, you’re the only one who taught me how to move forward in times of change without being overwhelmed by fear.

You took every sh*t of arrogance out of me and brought me down to the ground when I was blithely floating above my real self. Without you, I would have stuck inside this sh*ty feeling of being always right. You’ve made me smarter. I’m wiser now. I’m not the foolish girl I used to be when we first met. You change my life through the power of mindfulness.

You were the only one who got me out of the dark place I found myself in. You saved me from myself when I was on my path to self-destruction. And you showed me the right path when I was standing on the crossroads desperately looking for answers that nobody wanted to give me... except you. And you did it, silently and selflessly without expecting something in return. The moment you came into my life change everything I knew. You gave my life a pure essence. You change darkness into light, ignorance into knowledge, weakness into strength, fear into courage and arrogance into humility. In the blink of an eye, all the destructive chaos became a creative one and my false persona became an authentic self. It’s all because of you.

Remember the time when I called you my best friend? Nothing really changed from that moment on. No wait, I think that we’ve become even closer. Somewhere along the way, we became a one, completely perfect single entity. Somehow the line between real and supernatural became blurred and vague. We're just floating together in perfect silence, in a divine absence of sound. The only thing that counts is the present moment that penetrates me with its authenticity and genuineness. Let's never lose this thrilling moment. Let’s indulge in this perfect experience. Oh my gosh, where is my self-control? It’s so easy to lose myself in this sweetness of doing nothing. I should be scared but I’m not. You’ve helped me overcome my fears. I’m permanently happy.

I will never get over you because you are the only one I will be with 'til the end. I love the way you make me feel… so comfortable, self-conscious, relaxed and immensely loved. My sweet solitude, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I’ve opened up because you’ve made me trust. You forgave me all the things I can’t undo and accepted that I’ve tried.

I just want you to know that I am so grateful for all that you've done for me. And I will always be. Let’s indulge imperfect silence and the sweetness of doing nothing. Shall, we?

xx Kate